The day that we found out Addison’s heart had stopped beating, I was more than a little lost. I sat on my couch for three hours staring at nothing. It felt like three minutes.
As our journey progressed I started to realize the reality of what was going on around me. Slowly, it felt like I came back to a state of consciousness. But it wasn’t until well after we were home from the hospital that I started to understand the true impact that our still moving journey will have on the rest of our life.
While we were in the hospital – before she was even born – I turned here for comfort. And in turn, I’ve heard so many stories from so many parents who have experienced child loss in one capacity or another. I am so honored that so many of you have chosen to share your story with me.
One thing that I’ve heard through so many – the thing that really caught me off guard – is how hidden child loss is within our culture. So many have told me that they don’t talk about it, or feel like they can’t talk about it – or, for some, felt like they couldn’t even cry about it. This is so heartbreaking.
The loss of a child, no matter when it happens, shakes your world to it’s core. And to feel like you have to hide it…well, that says some things, doesn’t it? I don’t think I’ve figured out what all of these things are yet. But I now feel like I have this responsibility now to help change this conversation.
The other thing I know: those of us who have gone through this type of loss are terrified of losing another child. It’s happened to us. We know that it’s not something that happens to someone else’s family, because it’s happened to our own. And that’s scary. Because we know the reality is that it could happen again. And that thought is just a constant hum in the back of your mind.
So I think we need to hear something positive. At least, I know I do.
I want to hear the stories of hope. The stories of life after stillbirth. The tales from those who have lost and gone on to have healthy babies again. We all need to know that hope exists, that it can be part of our future. For me, it’s so healing to know that there’s a possibility of more babies down the road.
So tell me your story. Send your friend or sister or aunt or cousin here if they have a positive story to share. Five stories will be chosen as a featured blog post on The Mommyhood Project. Don’t want to share publicly? No problem. Email me your story – I can post it anonymously for you.
Let’s start changing the conversation and share a little hope with those who really need some encouragement.