Being a Super Mommy Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be

There’s a mommy epidemic that’s been going around the nation lately. I read about it in blogs, hear it in news articles and see it with some of my own friends: the pressure to be a super mom. Not just a super mom – super woman. Before RJ was born, I almost succumbed to this mindset. And I was driving myself crazy. I finally reached a breaking point and realized that the image of a mom that society projects onto women doesn’t have to be the same mommy that I need to be. My ideal life slash version of mommyhood is different than perfection. And that’s ok.

As moms, it’s impossible to be and do everything for everyone. This can be a challenging mindset to overcome, but it is possible to get to the point where you aren’t worried about impressing everyone else – you’re only worried about what’s important to your family. As a mom, I’ve learned that there’s no way for me to work 50 hours a week, be a great mommy and wife, take care of my house, have time to write, keep up with the yard, work out, do the laundry, make it to girl’s night and also get a homemade dinner on the table every night at six o’clock sharp.

I’ve learned to prioritize my life in a way that works for my family. Certain things matter, other things don’t. Just because something falls off of your to-do list doesn’t mean that it’s unimportant. It just means that you have more important things going on in your life right now.

For example, it’s important to me that my family eats healthy, home cooked meals as often as possible. Sure, we eat out from time to time – probably once or twice a month – but for the most part I enjoy creating the meals that my family consumes. Since that takes a lot more effort than just heating up a frozen meal, I have less time for things like keeping up with friends. While it’s still important to me that I’m involved in my friends’ lives, my family comes first. And {because most of them have the same mindset} my friends respect that. They’re busy too – so we catch up when we have time. But I don’t spend an hour chatting on the phone every night like I did in college.

Another example: working and freelance writing take up a lot of my time. They’re important because they let me contribute to providing for my family. I also love to workout – but if I have to choose between thirty minutes on the treadmill and thirty minutes to get an article done by a deadline, I’m going to go with the writing. I hate to say it, but staying on top of my deadlines is what’s more important in life right now. And doing both isn’t an option – because I have a baby to spend time with!

And just like being a WAHM, life comes down to priorities. It’s a hard skill to master – in fact, even though I’ve been practicing prioritization and time management skills for years, I’m still learning to master them. But realizing what your priorities are – and knowing what needs to get done above everything else to still leave you with time to spend with your family – is totally key to being successful as a mommy. Everything else will fall into place.

So that’s that. By society’s standards, I’m not perfect – and I’m ok with that. I learned – thankfully – that chastising myself for not being everything to everyone in my life isn’t going to make me happy. What’s going to make me happy is knowing that I’m making a positive impact in my child’s life. That my husband loves me more than anything. That I’m doing something with my life that matters to me. And that, my friends, is enough.

Live the life you love, love the life you live. They’re words to live by.

{special thanks to Emily Oswald for the quote}